Top Tips For Feeding Toddlers

Feeding toddlers can be a tricky business. Food on the floor, on the curtains, in Mommy’s hair… and that’s on a good day! On a bad day, your toddler can flat-out refuse to eat the meal you’ve painstakingly spent the morning preparing- even if he ate it delightedly just last week.

Here are my top tips for hopefully having more good days and less of those not so good days:

1. Eat with your toddler.

When we first start feeding our babies at around 4-6 months, it’s usual practice to put baby in the high chair and sit in front of them shovelling in spoonfuls of whatever purée we have cooked. Although this strategy often works for the first few months, it is not unusual for it to stop working by the time your baby reaches toddlerhood.

This is because we are essentially social animals, designed to do certain things together. The French model of feeding children is often held up as the “Gold Standard” when it comes to this, as the French are renowned for turning mealtimes into social occasions. Parents often complain to me that their young child will not eat the food that is cooked for them at home, but will happily eat a less expensive or nutritious meal in nursery; it is not because the food is any more delicious than what they receive at home, it is because they are eating together with their friends.

2. Eat the same food as your child.

This is an extension of the first idea. Your child should see you eating the same meal as them (and enjoying it!). As well as eating with your child, you should show that you are happy to eat the same food as they are eating. If you are not, then perhaps you should rethink what you are feeding your child.

Although we generally recommend not adding salt or sugar to food for children under 12 months, you can start to (gently) relax those rules after their first birthday, which means that there is really no reason why they can’t eat the same meal as you as long as vindaloo is not on the menu.

3. Feed your child at the table.

Make sure your child eats their meal sat at the table in an age-appropriate chair at the right height to the table. Don’t chase your child around the house with a bowl and spoon, or try to sneak in spoonfuls whilst they’re playing. Your child needs to be aware of their relationship with their food, and needs to develop good mealtime habits.

4. No distractions.

Don’t bring TV or toys to the table in an attempt to distract your child so that they don’t realise you are feeding them. Although it seems to work well in the initial stages, you soon find that you have to escalate the distraction, all the time getting less and less food into your child.

I call it the law of diminishing returns- soon you will be dressed in a clown suit dancing a tap dance on the table…

5. Do not reward a failed mealtime with a treat.

We all know the foods our child will always eat: fruits and yoghurt. Many parents resort to producing these “treats” when a child won’t eat their meal, unwittingly sending a message that if they do not eat their meal they will get their preferred food.

Of course we want our children to eat fruits and yoghurt. However, rather than giving these immediately after a failed mealtime, schedule them at snack times or as part of breakfast.

6. Don’t become the option #1, option #2, option #3 parent.

The meal is the meal is the meal. Don’t run off into the kitchen to prepare another meal if your child is not taking the one you prepared. Children are clever manipulators, and soon learn to reject all options until their preferred one arrives. Therein lies the path to the “beige” diet – the infamous toddler diet of chicken nuggets, fries, plain pasta and bread.

It is not the end of the world if your child ends a meal having eaten none of it – learning to feel hungry for a short while won’t have any lasting ill effect and will teach him to eat the next meal better. Vary the meals: if lunch is a “challenge” meal, with new or less favourite foods, then dinner can be one you know he generally eats well.

Finally, try to have fun at mealtimes. Make mealtime a social occasion where the family gathers together, asking each other how their day went, and catching up after a long day. As your child grows older, they will enjoy being included in this special daily event.