Everyone tells you that the birth of a new baby is a joyful, exciting thing. It’s a day many of us look forward to from the moment we discover we are pregnant. The big day arrives, a little bundle is placed in our arms… and our lives are irrevocably changed. But what happens if the thoughts and emotions are not what we anticipated? What if, instead of joy and excitement, we feel fear and anxiety. Who do we turn to? What do we do?
Postnatal Depression: Are You At Risk?
The Statistics:
Many women experience “baby blues”, a feeling of sadness and emotional let-down that classically begins on day 2 to 3 after the birth of the baby, and may last up to two weeks.
This phenomenon is partly due to the sharp drop in your “happy hormones”, oestrogen and progesterone, which were keeping you going throughout pregnancy (think of it as a super-magnified premenstrual tension!). Some women also experience a sharp drop in their thyroid hormone levels, which can lead to feelings of excessive tiredness and lethargy.
Studies show that around 1 in every 8, or 10-15%, of women will experience something a bit more intense than the baby-blues- true postnatal depression.
Who Is At Risk?
Women who have a history of pre-existing depression or other psychiatric illness, such as bipolar disorder or anxiety, may be 60% more likely to suffer postnatal depression than mothers with no history of psychiatric illness in the past.
Other risk factors:
- unplanned or accidental pregnancy
- unsupportive partner
- teen or single parent
- socio-economic needs
- stress
- baby with disability or special needs
- premature baby, or baby requiring hospitalisation
- previous history of losing a baby
Signs of postnatal depression include:
- Sadness and feelings of emptiness worsening, rather than improving at around the two weeks mark, and lasting considerably longer
- Feelings of isolation and loneliness
- Feelings of desperation
- A sense of failing or being a failure (at breastfeeding, being a mother… ), or not being able to bond with your baby
- Tiredness or lethargy
- Poor sleep, difficulty in falling asleep or sleeping too much
- Eating too much, or too little
- Unable to feel happy about anything
- Unable to motivate yourself to do things, or get out of the house
- Frightening thoughts about harming yourself or your baby
A small number of women with postnatal depression may go on to experience postnatal psychosis. Signs of postnatal psychosis include:
- Auditory or visual hallucinations
- Extreme feelings of worthlessness
- Feelings that your baby/ your family/ your partner would be better off without you
- Escalating thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, or planning to commit suicide
What Can You Do?
Self help interventions:
- Ask for help: recognise how you feel and tell someone! Anyone! It can be a friend, family member, ora a complete stranger- but you should tell someone! Once you have acknowledged the feelings, they are less powerful to harm you or your family, and other people can share the burden with you.
- Be good to yourself: forget all the projects you were convinced you would get done during your maternity leave (finally bringing order to the study, anyone…?). Just concentrate on getting through the day!
- Get yourself out of the house: arrange a coffee morning with friends or your sister. Talk and let them know how you’re feeling.
- Force yourself to do something physical! Put your baby in the stroller and go for a walk.
- Reach out to your pastor/ priest, or faith leader in your faith community for help and support.
Go for a walk on the beach
Help And Support:
Talk to your doctor (your family doctor, obstetrician or your child’s paediatrician) about accessing more help. Psychotherapy such as cognitive behavioural therapy helps you to see your situation clearly, and gives you the tools to manage and move forward.
Your doctor can also recommend medications (or send you to someone who can prescribe medications) to treat anxiety and depression. Don’t worry: Your doctor can prescribe medications that are safe to use during breastfeeding.
There are suicide helplines and support groups in most countries that you can reach out to if you feel you cannot talk to a family member or friend about how you’re feeling:
- Singapore: Samaritans of Singapore at 1800 221 4444
- United States: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255)
- UK And ROI: Samaritans UK & ROI
Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 (UK – local rate)
Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92 (UK minicom)
Hotline: 1850 60 90 90 (ROI – local rate)
Hotline: 1850 60 90 91 (ROI minicom)
For a full list of suicide lines see: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
And finally… a few reminders:
YOU ARE A GOOD PARENT
THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT
YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING LOVED
YOUR BABY IS NOT BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU- EVER!
YOU CAN ASK FOR HELP!
As always, feel free to leave a comment below. And don’t forget to subscribe to receive weekly medical and parenting advice direct to your inbox. Have a great week ahead!
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